the marathon of the past months

gee it's been a while. i've been meaning to share my running progress on here more diligently than this. the past two months demanded a lot from me. i haven't gotten to practice running a lot. even if i did, i don't think i would've been able to track my progress and share my thoughts on it. but i'll start off with some good news first.

i started running because i wanted to run a small marathon at the end of june. it was 4.7k and i had about two months to prep as someone who never ran before. my goal was a pace below 6 mins per km. i absolutely crushed that goal. i finished with a final time of 25:17 which translates to 5:22 per km. that's my fastest pace to date. i ended up in the top 20% with my final time which is still beyond me.

since then i've been trying to juggle responsibilities between keeping up my day-to-day life. my best friend got married very recently. i was their best man. i had lots of organizing to do and people to meet. when i was not at work, i was constantly at a different place, traveling to and fro. right after the wedding, i had about 12 hours to pack up and depart again, this time to meet some friends in another country and actually enjoy my work holidays. i slept no more than six hours every day. one night we stayed up til 5 partying. it was not a relaxing holiday by any stretch of the imagination, but i only get to see my friends abroad once a year so we always go all out. the two extra work holidays i took after i arrived back home were not enough to fix my broken sleep schedule, so last thursday and friday were a drag. luckily there wasn't much to do since most other people i work with were also on their work holidays. right now i'm staying the weekend at my parents for the first time in a couple months. i would've much preferred to stay at home but i also knew they were really looking forward to seeing me again. i couldn't have given them a prediction for when they were going to see me again if this weekend didn't work out.

it's been some of the busiest weeks in my life. i've been near my breaking point multiple times but i still enjoyed myself. i was stressed but it was a good kind of stress since all my efforts amounted to me spending time with people i like and love. but i have also blocked next weekend just for myself so i can recharge my social battery which has been begging me to take it easy for a long time now.

i am well and truly exhausted. i look forward to every minute where i don't have to socialize or plan things. i look forward to the next couple weeks where there's some things planned that i'm just a part of. i don't coordinate or contribute anything. i'm more than happy to be a participant and a spectator for once.

it feels weird because, as i said, amidst my stress i'm getting to see great places and meet cool people and in the end it always turns out to be worth it. there are these two conflicting parties in my head. one is chasing all these cool memories that are yet to be made no matter the cost. the other is telling me that i should really be taking care of myself, to let others do the work for me for once. right now i'm more leaning towards the latter.

and i'm also looking forward to put on my running shoes again for the first time in a while...

mail: mybtm (at) proton (dot) me

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